For years, the bears of Slovakia held their positions with quiet dignity. They ruled the forests, managed the rivers, and occasionally investigated unattended picnic baskets. But this week, a shocking development: they’ve all resigned.
Official Statement from the Bears:
“We have done our duty. We are tired. The humans are too weird. We quit.”?.
Bears Resign—Too Many Tourists, Not Enough Peace
After centuries of ruling the forests, the bears of Slovakia have had enough. They are officially resigning. The reason? Tourists. Too many of them. Too loud. Too selfie-obsessed.
Statement from the Bear Council:
“We tried. We really did. But every time we take a nap, someone with a GoPro shows up. We can’t fish without drones buzzing around. We can’t even scratch our backs on trees without ending up on TikTok. We’re done.”
Key Reasons for Resignation:
- Zero Privacy – A bear can’t even poop in the woods without an audience anymore.
- Forced Photography – Tourists keep demanding “one more pic,” even when the bear clearly isn’t feeling photogenic.
- Food Theft – Picnics are now bear-proof. Unacceptable working conditions.
- Overwhelming Noise – Bears are trying to hibernate, but Karen from Wisconsin just won’t stop screaming.
What’s Next?
With the bears stepping down, the forests are in chaos. A delegation of wolves has proposed taking over, while the foxes are pushing for a “more mischievous” leadership style. Meanwhile, the squirrels have launched a coup, claiming they have been doing all the real work anyway.
Will the bears ever return? Only time will tell. But for now, they’re packing their bags and heading for a nice, quiet cave… far, far away.
